Im too cold to be alive

My favorite Mason Proper song used to be 'Friendship.'
Observe the opening lyrics:

I froze my hands
broke my fingers off
gave them to my friends as a gift
cuz a rift has formed between us

Are you wondering if you're one of the ten friends I'd give my fingers to? Well you might find out soon enough because IM AFRAID THIS ACTUALLY MIGHT HAPPEN TO ME. My hands are frozen, and I have no control! None. I'm not trying to break them off per se, but... it might happen.

I have never been so cold and so sad in my entire life. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I feel like as I age everything gets ten times more crazy and kind of more terrible and like I've become 80% less responsible than I was the year before.
And colder.
Winter gets COLDER.
Seriously. Has Al Gore ever been to Michigan? NO. Global Warming is either not real or the most horribly labeled phenomenon ever. How can the planet be the recipient of MORE heat and be MORE cold at the same time? In fact, I'm pretty sure the sun no longer exists and has been replaced with [insert something that produces light but/gives off no energy/is that even possible/I don't know science.]

I think my point is that I'm really effing cold and next year is obviously only going to get colder.
Remind me again why living a long time is ideal? Because right now I feel like I need an incentive not to die. I bet being dead is so warm.

I don't want to talk about being dead. It reminds me a lot of being sad, and being sad reminds me of how cold I am right now. You know what else reminds me of how cold I am? the fact that I am mistyping approximately 3 out of every four words because I can't feel my right hand.
[I just did that thing again where I used numerals and then actually typed out the number/words. WTF.]

My backspace button is getting some serious action. Do you want to know how long it took me to type approximately? The answer is embarrassing and I refuse to share it with you.


Anyway, here's what happens when life is too cold to actually do anything productive with your time:




Yeah. That bag of tortilla chips I threw on the floor? It's definitely still there.