Remember when it was cool to be emo? Me either. But I never said that I was cool, or that livejournal is cool, or was, but I will admit that I was obsessed with it for a couple years because it felt like the only way people would listen to me sometimes. Of course, no one ever does listen to me, or at least that's the running joke in my family ("It's funny because it's true!") and look at me now!... Still pathetic and writing to cyberspace.
And still no one is listening to me. I've come a long way, baby.
This brings me to the point of this post (i swear i always have one even if i can't exactly pinpoint it) which is that There Was This One Time When Someone Did Listen To Me. And it was the best. Which is problematic for several reasons, the least of which is that fact that it was only one person, and that this person posted a comment as anonymous with the title of the comment as "I know you." Cuz that's not creepy. as. fuck. Whatever, I liked it a little. Because it seems pretty genuine.
Anyway, this is what the comment said.
"i've written some of those same words in secret journals. i feel your pain and apathy, and i only feel empathetic because i feel you are like me, or even a part of me from very far away. i pretend to care about all the pain and success of my "friends" at school, and yet i can never hear enough from my boyfriend, who somehow does not find me repulsive.
i can't help but think, hope even, that there is something more or better than being human.
and yet my ridiculous emotions often control me.
i wouldn't post as anonymous, but i don't have an account.
somehow though, i see in you a kindred spirit, should there be such a thing.
you're feelings and thoughts aren't stupid.
they are yours (and mine) and they are valid in every way."
I mean.... validation! Not at it's finest (or most grammatically correct), I'll admit.
But sometimes, I guess, it's nice to know that one (anonymous) person doesn't think your hatred of being human is stupid.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Bad Penny? Terrible, Awful, No Good, VERY BAD Penny.
If this isn't the funniest thing you've ever seen... it's either not that funny, or I'm jealous of your life.
"Bad Penny"
"Bad Penny"
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The Epic Tale of June 7th, 2010 (in list form)- From the Starbucks "Communication Log." Illustrating really great use of company time:
Close, 6/7/2010
1. Whoever pointed out that I signed my own entry-- you need to lose the 'tude. I bet it was Sarah. Which leads me to number..
2. I totally get why Frances was dreading seeing you. You are scary beyond all reason. Like Yzma, from Emperor's New Groove. No one know's what I'm talking about.
3. Frances, you're always whiting things out, and it's driving me up a wall. What are you saying?? I MUST KNOW. I love a good mystery
4. I also have a song stuck in my head. It's called "Odessa" by Caribou. It's particularly annoying because the whole song is basically just a repeat of one line and I can't figure out what the words are. It sounds like "chicken steak." But that's probably not it.
5. I just remembered that Sarah said she was going to drop by and give me cookies, in which case i retract every negative thing I've said about her here. It will go like this:
(#): Mean statements retracted.
Or, if she forgets, and I'm in a bad mood or something, it might go like this:
(#): SARAH IS THE WORST.
6. So far I have nothing to QMOS, but there are 3 vanilla bean scones that will have to go tonight if no one buys them. I'm going to 'suggestive sell' the hell out of these scones. I'm not really sure what I have against QMOSing. It's not like it's hard. I must be real lazy. Actually, suggestive selling sounds like way more work than QMOSing. Now I'm really confused.
7. All the nonfat milk in the fridge is dated for my birthday. It's the most exciting thing that's happened to me all day.
8. I AM doing productive things. I changed the "What's Brewing?" sign. And I just made some woman a passion tea lemonade and she remarked, in a very sad tone, that she wasn't expecting the Grande to be that small. I mean this lady was really upset. She had this look on her face like she had just seen a puppy get tortured... it seemed a little dramatic to me.
9. Mean statements retracted. SARAH IS THE BEST. She even gave them to me in a neat little container. Wow. I'm speechless.
10. Not that speechless. There are 3 little girls in the lobby eating hot dogs with their dad. It's adorable. Except it's taking them a real long time to eat these hot dogs. I'm mezmerized. I'm pretty sure I could eat a hotdog in like 30 seconds. Yep.
11. There is a ton of half and half in the fridge now because I successfully avoided huddle and snatched it from the back. I was on a double secret mission to find out why there was an ambulance outside and a stretcher in the store wheeled by two EMTs. I'm not telling you why. It just wouldn't be prudent, and also I didn't exactly get the scoop. I tried! Frances got mad at me, but she didn't even make an effort. In fact, I htink her exact words were, "Somebody needs to find out what's going on, and it's NOT going to be me."
12. I sold 1 vanilla scone.
13. A family of six just came up and asked me when we close. They are going to come back at 8:59 and order six frappucinos probably. Drat. The only way this can work out good for me is if they buy those last two scones. And even then, it won't be that great. At all.
14. I can't stop at 13! It's an unlucky number! That was a close one.
15. It's really super busy obviously. There is a line, but I'm making people wait so I can write this. It's more important, I think.
16. The other night I met this guy online from India. I went on this weird website called Omegle. Anyway, this is what we talked about:
1. UFOs- Have I ever seen one? Do I believe? (no, yes.)
2. Ghosts- Have I ever seen one? Do I believe? (no, maybe.)
3. Do I have a boyfriend? (That's a personal question.)
We are friends on facebook now-- Too much? Probably. But I learned that it was raining in India (somewhere) on Saturday. I feel like I got the inside scoop.
17. I was right about that family. FRAPPUCINOS. The little kids were all up in my grill, and one of them knocked the sleeves into the running water at the end of the bar. Guess if the parents even noticed. I was slightly less than pleased. Also, this little boy saw me putting foam on a latte and was like, "MOM, do you want foam?? MOM she's putting foam on it." He was like, 7. And he knows what a latte is. PLEASE.
18. I was channeling Frances and brewed a pot of coffee that was 10% water, 89% grounds, and 1% inconvenient.
19. Bye!
-"Mother Th. of the Starbucks area."
1. Whoever pointed out that I signed my own entry-- you need to lose the 'tude. I bet it was Sarah. Which leads me to number..
2. I totally get why Frances was dreading seeing you. You are scary beyond all reason. Like Yzma, from Emperor's New Groove. No one know's what I'm talking about.
3. Frances, you're always whiting things out, and it's driving me up a wall. What are you saying?? I MUST KNOW. I love a good mystery
4. I also have a song stuck in my head. It's called "Odessa" by Caribou. It's particularly annoying because the whole song is basically just a repeat of one line and I can't figure out what the words are. It sounds like "chicken steak." But that's probably not it.
5. I just remembered that Sarah said she was going to drop by and give me cookies, in which case i retract every negative thing I've said about her here. It will go like this:
(#): Mean statements retracted.
Or, if she forgets, and I'm in a bad mood or something, it might go like this:
(#): SARAH IS THE WORST.
6. So far I have nothing to QMOS, but there are 3 vanilla bean scones that will have to go tonight if no one buys them. I'm going to 'suggestive sell' the hell out of these scones. I'm not really sure what I have against QMOSing. It's not like it's hard. I must be real lazy. Actually, suggestive selling sounds like way more work than QMOSing. Now I'm really confused.
7. All the nonfat milk in the fridge is dated for my birthday. It's the most exciting thing that's happened to me all day.
8. I AM doing productive things. I changed the "What's Brewing?" sign. And I just made some woman a passion tea lemonade and she remarked, in a very sad tone, that she wasn't expecting the Grande to be that small. I mean this lady was really upset. She had this look on her face like she had just seen a puppy get tortured... it seemed a little dramatic to me.
9. Mean statements retracted. SARAH IS THE BEST. She even gave them to me in a neat little container. Wow. I'm speechless.
10. Not that speechless. There are 3 little girls in the lobby eating hot dogs with their dad. It's adorable. Except it's taking them a real long time to eat these hot dogs. I'm mezmerized. I'm pretty sure I could eat a hotdog in like 30 seconds. Yep.
11. There is a ton of half and half in the fridge now because I successfully avoided huddle and snatched it from the back. I was on a double secret mission to find out why there was an ambulance outside and a stretcher in the store wheeled by two EMTs. I'm not telling you why. It just wouldn't be prudent, and also I didn't exactly get the scoop. I tried! Frances got mad at me, but she didn't even make an effort. In fact, I htink her exact words were, "Somebody needs to find out what's going on, and it's NOT going to be me."
12. I sold 1 vanilla scone.
13. A family of six just came up and asked me when we close. They are going to come back at 8:59 and order six frappucinos probably. Drat. The only way this can work out good for me is if they buy those last two scones. And even then, it won't be that great. At all.
14. I can't stop at 13! It's an unlucky number! That was a close one.
15. It's really super busy obviously. There is a line, but I'm making people wait so I can write this. It's more important, I think.
16. The other night I met this guy online from India. I went on this weird website called Omegle. Anyway, this is what we talked about:
1. UFOs- Have I ever seen one? Do I believe? (no, yes.)
2. Ghosts- Have I ever seen one? Do I believe? (no, maybe.)
3. Do I have a boyfriend? (That's a personal question.)
We are friends on facebook now-- Too much? Probably. But I learned that it was raining in India (somewhere) on Saturday. I feel like I got the inside scoop.
17. I was right about that family. FRAPPUCINOS. The little kids were all up in my grill, and one of them knocked the sleeves into the running water at the end of the bar. Guess if the parents even noticed. I was slightly less than pleased. Also, this little boy saw me putting foam on a latte and was like, "MOM, do you want foam?? MOM she's putting foam on it." He was like, 7. And he knows what a latte is. PLEASE.
18. I was channeling Frances and brewed a pot of coffee that was 10% water, 89% grounds, and 1% inconvenient.
19. Bye!
-"Mother Th. of the Starbucks area."
BACKLOGGED May 25th, 2010. Key Bank sucks, or something.
These are drafts of letters i wrote to Key Bank. The first one is in a spirit of severe anger, one that I wrote in jest but its also probably the funniest, and the one I wish I had the balls to send. The second one is milder, but it's gold, and the one I actually WANTED to send. The third one I actually sent. It was limited to 1000 characters. Guess how much 1000 characters is? NOTHING. Because they dont want you to actually accomplish ANYTHING in your message to them. Fascists.
Anyway, the third one got me 36 dollars back, and a somewhat hilarious response detailing how irresponsible I am and how they're only refunding my money as a "courtesy." Whatever. I should post it maybe.
#1
It's the year two thousand ten.. So can someone please explain to me how it takes a whole week for a service charge (or several, for that matter) to appear on an online statement? You want to know why there were several? YOU DONT TELL YOUR CUSTOMERS RIGHT AWAY WHEN THEY OVERDRAW THEIR ACCOUNT. Im sure this is news to you, and I'm sure that it's a product of some huge oversight in your business philosophy that you will take immediate action to recitfy, and not because you're a bunch of greedy, immoral FUCKS.
Am I being too harsh? After all, you did give an immense effort to alert me about my problem. You sent me a letter by post that I received a timely four days after the fact. Extremely helpful.
It must be convenient for Key Bank that it takes longer to deposit money than it does to take it out or debit it from a bank account. And your mobile service? Texting is supposed to be an advanced and IMMEDIATE form of communication.. why do I get texts at 2:30am not only waking me, but telling me that purchases I made TWO DAYS AGO have overdrawn my bank account? Miraculously, this is even less helpful than sending notice in the mail. Do you need a reminder of the year again? 2010. Just to be clear. Barack Obama is president. In fact, in 2008 I received a text message alerting me of his official presidential nomination. This message was timely, although unfortunately, less relevant to my life than the status of my bank account. I bet Barack Obama doesn't get 48 hours-stale text messages from his bank. Also, I bet that he doesn't bank with Key.
I realize I am ultimately at fault here for taking out a sum of money that would have been irrelevant had someone not been waiting weeks to cash a large check I assumed had already been cashed. I wasn't keeping track. I was relying on your online banking to tell me the status of my bank account. Which I will no longer do of course, because it is egregiously awful, and because I plan on closing my account with Key Bank. I was going to call your 800 number and talk to someone about this, but I have a feeling it's going to be the biggest fucking hassle ever. Because it always is. Maybe I should just send you a letter. Do telegrams still exist? Well, look for mine soon. I bet it's your preferred method of communication.
Regards (definitely not good ones),
Karly M. Herron
# 2
I have been banking with Key for about 5 years now. My experience has been fine, except for a few incidents involving unfair overdraft fees for which I feel I am not wholly responsible. I know that banks throw out fines quite liberally in the hopes that people won't contest, but I do feel that I've been treated unfairly and I need this situation to be rectified.
In 2008 I was traveling in Europe and my father was periodically replenishing my account with money from another. Unfortunately, he lost track one day and I ended up overdrawing my account. This is 100% completely our fault. But when the overdraws kept happening, I overdrew my account by SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS. For a responsible person like myself, this is not acceptable account activity, and I suspect Key Bank knew that and took advantage of my misfortune by not informing me by any convenient method. Fortunately my father was able to convince Key Bank to remove most if not all of the charges. This action tells me two things: First, that Key Bank does care about their customers. And second, that Key admitted they had messed up.
Unfortunately, Key messed up again, although this time I think the problem may be centered in your technologically-flawed online banking system. It's 2010. Online banking is supposed to be easy and convenient, but I find it to be sluggish and extremely misleading. How does it take a week for an overdraft fee to appear on an online statement? Other banks show ANY account activity almost immediately.. sure, it says 'pending' but it is there nonetheless. Whats the point of having online banking if the information never accurately reflects what is in one's account? If the point is to be misleading in hopes that people will overdraw their account like I did, then I guess you've nailed it.
You also offer a mobile service that makes everything seem like you're trying to help your customers, but really is as sluggish as the online banking. received a text TWO DAYS after I overdrew my account that told me my balance was -$44. I was at work. I couldn't do anything about it immediately. I could have done something.. two days earlier when it actually happened. Technology is supposed to make everything immediate! Do you need a reminder of the year again? 2010. Barack Obama is president. In fact, in 2008 I received a text message alerting me of his official presidential nomination. This message was timely, although unfortunately, less relevant to my life than the status of my bank account. I bet Barack Obama doesn't get 48 hours-stale text messages from his bank. Also, I bet that he doesn't bank with Key.
Overall, I'm concerned that Key Bank's preferred method of communication is by 'snail mail.' I received official notice of the overdraw a timely 4 days after it happened. Nice. I'm sure that as a competitive company in today's world of technology, you are aware that immediate methods of communication exist, you just refuse to use them to their full potential. And that's not fair.
As I said before, you messed up again, Key Bank, and I need the situation rectified, or I will take my business elsewhere. If the unfair fees do not get removed, you will have cheated me out of nearly $70. $70 to you is nothing, but to me it's the difference between paying or not being able to pay my rent this month without overdrawing my account again. But perhaps thats what you want.
Do not brush me off! If the receiver of this note does not have the inclination or authority to remove the fees, make sure it gets into the hands of someone who does. Otherwise, I'm going to have to call your 800 number, which is even more sluggish in efficiency than sending something by post, and, in which case, I'm going to be even more upset with Key than I am right now.
Your devoted customer,
Karly Herron
#3
I have been banking with Key for about 5 years now. My experience has been fine, except for a few incidents involving unfair overdraft fees for which I feel I am not wholly responsible. I've had fees removed before, which i take as an admission of Key's fault. And it seems you are at fault again. Because I am limited to 1000 characters, I can't fully explain my situation. Basically, you failed to inform me in a timely manner of an overdraft in my account. This has happened before. The first overdraw was my fault, but any subsequent fees are unfair and they need to be removed. Do not brush me off! If the receiver of this note does not have the inclination or authority to remove the fees, make sure it gets into the hands of someone who does. Otherwise, I'm going to have to call your 800 number, which is even more sluggish in efficiency than sending something by post, and, in which case, I'm going to be even more upset with Key than I am right now. Your devoted customer, Karly Herron
Anyway, the third one got me 36 dollars back, and a somewhat hilarious response detailing how irresponsible I am and how they're only refunding my money as a "courtesy." Whatever. I should post it maybe.
#1
It's the year two thousand ten.. So can someone please explain to me how it takes a whole week for a service charge (or several, for that matter) to appear on an online statement? You want to know why there were several? YOU DONT TELL YOUR CUSTOMERS RIGHT AWAY WHEN THEY OVERDRAW THEIR ACCOUNT. Im sure this is news to you, and I'm sure that it's a product of some huge oversight in your business philosophy that you will take immediate action to recitfy, and not because you're a bunch of greedy, immoral FUCKS.
Am I being too harsh? After all, you did give an immense effort to alert me about my problem. You sent me a letter by post that I received a timely four days after the fact. Extremely helpful.
It must be convenient for Key Bank that it takes longer to deposit money than it does to take it out or debit it from a bank account. And your mobile service? Texting is supposed to be an advanced and IMMEDIATE form of communication.. why do I get texts at 2:30am not only waking me, but telling me that purchases I made TWO DAYS AGO have overdrawn my bank account? Miraculously, this is even less helpful than sending notice in the mail. Do you need a reminder of the year again? 2010. Just to be clear. Barack Obama is president. In fact, in 2008 I received a text message alerting me of his official presidential nomination. This message was timely, although unfortunately, less relevant to my life than the status of my bank account. I bet Barack Obama doesn't get 48 hours-stale text messages from his bank. Also, I bet that he doesn't bank with Key.
I realize I am ultimately at fault here for taking out a sum of money that would have been irrelevant had someone not been waiting weeks to cash a large check I assumed had already been cashed. I wasn't keeping track. I was relying on your online banking to tell me the status of my bank account. Which I will no longer do of course, because it is egregiously awful, and because I plan on closing my account with Key Bank. I was going to call your 800 number and talk to someone about this, but I have a feeling it's going to be the biggest fucking hassle ever. Because it always is. Maybe I should just send you a letter. Do telegrams still exist? Well, look for mine soon. I bet it's your preferred method of communication.
Regards (definitely not good ones),
Karly M. Herron
# 2
I have been banking with Key for about 5 years now. My experience has been fine, except for a few incidents involving unfair overdraft fees for which I feel I am not wholly responsible. I know that banks throw out fines quite liberally in the hopes that people won't contest, but I do feel that I've been treated unfairly and I need this situation to be rectified.
In 2008 I was traveling in Europe and my father was periodically replenishing my account with money from another. Unfortunately, he lost track one day and I ended up overdrawing my account. This is 100% completely our fault. But when the overdraws kept happening, I overdrew my account by SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS. For a responsible person like myself, this is not acceptable account activity, and I suspect Key Bank knew that and took advantage of my misfortune by not informing me by any convenient method. Fortunately my father was able to convince Key Bank to remove most if not all of the charges. This action tells me two things: First, that Key Bank does care about their customers. And second, that Key admitted they had messed up.
Unfortunately, Key messed up again, although this time I think the problem may be centered in your technologically-flawed online banking system. It's 2010. Online banking is supposed to be easy and convenient, but I find it to be sluggish and extremely misleading. How does it take a week for an overdraft fee to appear on an online statement? Other banks show ANY account activity almost immediately.. sure, it says 'pending' but it is there nonetheless. Whats the point of having online banking if the information never accurately reflects what is in one's account? If the point is to be misleading in hopes that people will overdraw their account like I did, then I guess you've nailed it.
You also offer a mobile service that makes everything seem like you're trying to help your customers, but really is as sluggish as the online banking. received a text TWO DAYS after I overdrew my account that told me my balance was -$44. I was at work. I couldn't do anything about it immediately. I could have done something.. two days earlier when it actually happened. Technology is supposed to make everything immediate! Do you need a reminder of the year again? 2010. Barack Obama is president. In fact, in 2008 I received a text message alerting me of his official presidential nomination. This message was timely, although unfortunately, less relevant to my life than the status of my bank account. I bet Barack Obama doesn't get 48 hours-stale text messages from his bank. Also, I bet that he doesn't bank with Key.
Overall, I'm concerned that Key Bank's preferred method of communication is by 'snail mail.' I received official notice of the overdraw a timely 4 days after it happened. Nice. I'm sure that as a competitive company in today's world of technology, you are aware that immediate methods of communication exist, you just refuse to use them to their full potential. And that's not fair.
As I said before, you messed up again, Key Bank, and I need the situation rectified, or I will take my business elsewhere. If the unfair fees do not get removed, you will have cheated me out of nearly $70. $70 to you is nothing, but to me it's the difference between paying or not being able to pay my rent this month without overdrawing my account again. But perhaps thats what you want.
Do not brush me off! If the receiver of this note does not have the inclination or authority to remove the fees, make sure it gets into the hands of someone who does. Otherwise, I'm going to have to call your 800 number, which is even more sluggish in efficiency than sending something by post, and, in which case, I'm going to be even more upset with Key than I am right now.
Your devoted customer,
Karly Herron
#3
I have been banking with Key for about 5 years now. My experience has been fine, except for a few incidents involving unfair overdraft fees for which I feel I am not wholly responsible. I've had fees removed before, which i take as an admission of Key's fault. And it seems you are at fault again. Because I am limited to 1000 characters, I can't fully explain my situation. Basically, you failed to inform me in a timely manner of an overdraft in my account. This has happened before. The first overdraw was my fault, but any subsequent fees are unfair and they need to be removed. Do not brush me off! If the receiver of this note does not have the inclination or authority to remove the fees, make sure it gets into the hands of someone who does. Otherwise, I'm going to have to call your 800 number, which is even more sluggish in efficiency than sending something by post, and, in which case, I'm going to be even more upset with Key than I am right now. Your devoted customer, Karly Herron
BACKLOGGED (youre going to get sick of this term) and also titled, "This makes sense."
Ok ok, I know what you're thinking... Perez Hilton, Karly? REALLY?
Yeah, really. Stop judging me for the sites i frequent. Anyway.
Yeah, so, this whale killed someone. Shit happens. I don't know if you read the whole story but if you're like me, you think it's pretty clear that this isn't really that big of a deal. I think it's also pretty clear that this thing is A WHALE, a wild animal whose natural instinct is to kill for food and protect itself. So just because we took it out of its element, out of the ocean, this whale (ps. KILLER WHALE) should be held up to standards of morality?
Yeah, really. Stop judging me for the sites i frequent. Anyway.
Yeah, so, this whale killed someone. Shit happens. I don't know if you read the whole story but if you're like me, you think it's pretty clear that this isn't really that big of a deal. I think it's also pretty clear that this thing is A WHALE, a wild animal whose natural instinct is to kill for food and protect itself. So just because we took it out of its element, out of the ocean, this whale (ps. KILLER WHALE) should be held up to standards of morality?
What is wrong with EVERYONE?
also BACKLOGGED and newly titled "ughhh Karly is really emo sometimes but this is necessary to show the origin of this blog's wicked sweet title."
Sometimes i wish people would stop giving me hope.
I feel like I am perhaps constraining my life into crumpled mass of logic, which is keeping me from experiencing any kind of real joy in life. I excel at things that are easy, and steer away from things that are hard. People who takes risks always seem to obtain the unobtainable, but don't some of those people fail? They ruin things, things that are fine as is. Maybe that's my problem. Even "fine" isn't really doing it for me anymore. I need reckless abandon. Although I'm terrified this will lead me, eventually, to be like everyone else.
I just want affirmation from someone, SOON, that people don't always have to mess things up. I feel like I'm surrounded only by unconscientious, careless... children, really. I see remorse for bad action, which i suppose is comforting on some level... but i see bad action continue to happen, the same bad action over and over again. Simply put, I am a little depressed by humanity: not in an all-encompassing, "I can't get out of bed in the morning" kind of way, but in a repressive "everything is fine, nothing is ruined" kind of way.
Sometimes I honestly think everything is ruined. I never see enough good in the world to make me believe that everything isn't mostly bad. And if I feel this way...
why am i such a happy person? I have such a happy disposition. always. there is always something to laugh about, someone to talk to, some joy to be had from human interaction.
But sometimes i find it really hard to connect with people on a really personal level. Maybe because i don't know why i have to. I want to stop being alone, but I also want to know why I (or why anyone would) absolutely need someone else to affirm relevancy in the world. It's scary, only really caring about what one person thinks of you. who is this person? even more of a relative nobody than you are?
Then why are they the only thing that makes you happy, that makes you not care that the world is such a horrible place.. if only because they are in it.
I feel like I am perhaps constraining my life into crumpled mass of logic, which is keeping me from experiencing any kind of real joy in life. I excel at things that are easy, and steer away from things that are hard. People who takes risks always seem to obtain the unobtainable, but don't some of those people fail? They ruin things, things that are fine as is. Maybe that's my problem. Even "fine" isn't really doing it for me anymore. I need reckless abandon. Although I'm terrified this will lead me, eventually, to be like everyone else.
I just want affirmation from someone, SOON, that people don't always have to mess things up. I feel like I'm surrounded only by unconscientious, careless... children, really. I see remorse for bad action, which i suppose is comforting on some level... but i see bad action continue to happen, the same bad action over and over again. Simply put, I am a little depressed by humanity: not in an all-encompassing, "I can't get out of bed in the morning" kind of way, but in a repressive "everything is fine, nothing is ruined" kind of way.
Sometimes I honestly think everything is ruined. I never see enough good in the world to make me believe that everything isn't mostly bad. And if I feel this way...
why am i such a happy person? I have such a happy disposition. always. there is always something to laugh about, someone to talk to, some joy to be had from human interaction.
But sometimes i find it really hard to connect with people on a really personal level. Maybe because i don't know why i have to. I want to stop being alone, but I also want to know why I (or why anyone would) absolutely need someone else to affirm relevancy in the world. It's scary, only really caring about what one person thinks of you. who is this person? even more of a relative nobody than you are?
Then why are they the only thing that makes you happy, that makes you not care that the world is such a horrible place.. if only because they are in it.
Things! a thing that I made! also BACKLOGGED, but I don't care about the date!
sometimes (a lot) i cant sleep until really undecent hours (6:30 am) and so i spend my time doing things that seem productive but really aren't (this video)
please enjoy! you can hate it but that would be kind of mean, don't you think?
Monday April 6th, 2009. BACKLOGGED AGAIN. this is not confusing at all.
John and I had our reception for our senior exhibition yesterday.
It was great.
My parents came...
...and they bought one of John's pieces.
AND I had to explain to my aunt why there were skeleton hands and dead babies in one of my paintings.
AND I don't recall her saying anything about how good any of it was.
FML.
So here's my thought on showing people my art when they know nothing about me or art or MY art. or life.
I've found that it is really hard for most people to come to grips with something they do not understand. I think one of the biggest problems with art world is that it is too elite, mainly because the elite foster the impression that art is something you have to "get," like poetry or physics. I would like to think that you don't have to fully understand anything to think that it is beautiful or relate to it on some unconscious level.. isn't that what art is supposed to be?
I'm particularly concerned with what I am supposed to do, as an artist, when someone asks me what a specific painting is about. I suppose it depends on who is asking. This issue presents itself I think because of the context in which I show my work, in a venue where the people who are seeing the work aren't necessarily art/art history savvy.
It isn't that I don't know how to explain it; I don't mind describing my process, but I think most of the magic is gone from a piece of art when you get a play by play of what it is. It feels too cheap. Art is not a narrative (depending on how you define art, I suppose); it's just too subjective.
So how to explain without really explaining? I feel like artists in interviews always say things like, "I've always been interested in (insert some kind of theme or phenomenon that doesnt seem to pertain to anything specific in their work here)", which strikes me as a dodge, though interesting and insightful in its own right. I guess I'm happy to provide insight... I just don't want to give it all away. And since my first tendency is to explain everything to death, I need to find a better way to provide this insight-- point a finger in the right direction, instead of taking the viewer's hand and dragging them (albeit willingly) along with me.
It was great.
My parents came...
...and they bought one of John's pieces.
AND I had to explain to my aunt why there were skeleton hands and dead babies in one of my paintings.
AND I don't recall her saying anything about how good any of it was.
FML.
So here's my thought on showing people my art when they know nothing about me or art or MY art. or life.
I've found that it is really hard for most people to come to grips with something they do not understand. I think one of the biggest problems with art world is that it is too elite, mainly because the elite foster the impression that art is something you have to "get," like poetry or physics. I would like to think that you don't have to fully understand anything to think that it is beautiful or relate to it on some unconscious level.. isn't that what art is supposed to be?
I'm particularly concerned with what I am supposed to do, as an artist, when someone asks me what a specific painting is about. I suppose it depends on who is asking. This issue presents itself I think because of the context in which I show my work, in a venue where the people who are seeing the work aren't necessarily art/art history savvy.
It isn't that I don't know how to explain it; I don't mind describing my process, but I think most of the magic is gone from a piece of art when you get a play by play of what it is. It feels too cheap. Art is not a narrative (depending on how you define art, I suppose); it's just too subjective.
So how to explain without really explaining? I feel like artists in interviews always say things like, "I've always been interested in (insert some kind of theme or phenomenon that doesnt seem to pertain to anything specific in their work here)", which strikes me as a dodge, though interesting and insightful in its own right. I guess I'm happy to provide insight... I just don't want to give it all away. And since my first tendency is to explain everything to death, I need to find a better way to provide this insight-- point a finger in the right direction, instead of taking the viewer's hand and dragging them (albeit willingly) along with me.
Real date on this one is Feb 18th, 2009. BACKLOGGED
I was thinking about separating my "blog" blog from my art blog, but then i remembered that I have 678 art history pages left to read for tomorrow and it would be really irresponsible to ignore that. So now I'm writing this, which is helping neither of those problems.
I've been playing my violin a lot recently. This is puzzling for multiple reasons, the first being that I have no time to spare for such nonsense, the second being that I'm (surprise! five years later) incredibly terrible, and the third being that I don't think I'm going to get any better by playing the same measure of the same song 30 times in a row every time I "practice." Every day I brace myself for a knock on the door from my neighbor telling me that I'm being too loud (and also horrific), and that if he hears the opening sequence to Don Quixote one more time he might kill me, or do something equally upsetting, like write "nark bitch" on my door and pour beer on it.
here's a good story: that last one actually happened to me. unfortunately the harassment was completely undeserved but, you know, it makes for a good tale. I also feel the need to point out the spelling of "nark" so as to explain that it wasn't my idea to spell it like that. It just looks dumb.
I have a paper due for my existentialism class on tuesday, and I have no idea what I'm going to write. I wonder if I can just grab 6 pieces of white paper, write "PAPERS ARE EXISTENTIALLY IRRELEVANT" across all of them and hope they appreciate my finely-tuned sense of delivery.
I'm done with sentences. here's a list that constitutes my life since my last post (in an order that makes almost no sense):
1. Polite and nicely-worded email informing me that my ethics essay didn't make it past round one of deliberation. zinggg.
2. Shitshow trip to the dentist involving overzealous, needle-wielding crazy lady disguised as dentist
3. Solo Exhibition on display in the extremely professional and not at all lame Heritage Room in the AC library, visited by various students (who were forced, no doubt, by "the man" in the form of art experience points) and none other than the wife of my 7th grade science teacher for God knows what reason.
4. Loss of internship with said venue because the librarian (who, incidentally, writes death poetry) found me inappropriate and unprofessional for not answering a seemingly inexistent email
5. Fumbling creation of two speeches on the day they were due, one being suspended by the religious phenomenon sometimes referred to as "class cancelled"
6. Late night drive to Ann Arbor as a result of this phenomenon, where fingers dance on keyboard in the apartment of a friend who is no doubt angry with yours truly for making her watch A Series of Unfortunate Events even though she really didn't want to. Sooooo yeaaahhhhhh. I'm gonna go. I wouldn't want to scuff up yer floors with me ol' cripply leg.
I've been playing my violin a lot recently. This is puzzling for multiple reasons, the first being that I have no time to spare for such nonsense, the second being that I'm (surprise! five years later) incredibly terrible, and the third being that I don't think I'm going to get any better by playing the same measure of the same song 30 times in a row every time I "practice." Every day I brace myself for a knock on the door from my neighbor telling me that I'm being too loud (and also horrific), and that if he hears the opening sequence to Don Quixote one more time he might kill me, or do something equally upsetting, like write "nark bitch" on my door and pour beer on it.
here's a good story: that last one actually happened to me. unfortunately the harassment was completely undeserved but, you know, it makes for a good tale. I also feel the need to point out the spelling of "nark" so as to explain that it wasn't my idea to spell it like that. It just looks dumb.
I have a paper due for my existentialism class on tuesday, and I have no idea what I'm going to write. I wonder if I can just grab 6 pieces of white paper, write "PAPERS ARE EXISTENTIALLY IRRELEVANT" across all of them and hope they appreciate my finely-tuned sense of delivery.
I'm done with sentences. here's a list that constitutes my life since my last post (in an order that makes almost no sense):
1. Polite and nicely-worded email informing me that my ethics essay didn't make it past round one of deliberation. zinggg.
2. Shitshow trip to the dentist involving overzealous, needle-wielding crazy lady disguised as dentist
3. Solo Exhibition on display in the extremely professional and not at all lame Heritage Room in the AC library, visited by various students (who were forced, no doubt, by "the man" in the form of art experience points) and none other than the wife of my 7th grade science teacher for God knows what reason.
4. Loss of internship with said venue because the librarian (who, incidentally, writes death poetry) found me inappropriate and unprofessional for not answering a seemingly inexistent email
5. Fumbling creation of two speeches on the day they were due, one being suspended by the religious phenomenon sometimes referred to as "class cancelled"
6. Late night drive to Ann Arbor as a result of this phenomenon, where fingers dance on keyboard in the apartment of a friend who is no doubt angry with yours truly for making her watch A Series of Unfortunate Events even though she really didn't want to. Sooooo yeaaahhhhhh. I'm gonna go. I wouldn't want to scuff up yer floors with me ol' cripply leg.
A great way to start a blog is to repost old entries from blogs you started in a class and never actually continued on with. until now.
We're gonna Blog like it's 1999!
After reading a few very important and official-looking articles about blogging, I've had the exciting revelation that blogging ("web-logging'') doesn't have any official rules. It's been around since 1999 [1], and it seems that no one has laid any prescriptivist rules about things like grammar usage and essay structure. Look at the beginning of this paragraph. I didn't indent, and no one even cares! Actually, I'm almost positive someone does. But... I don't. And this is MY blog, mmkay.
I've found that there are however, some common guidelines that people tend to follow. For example, it seems like the bulk of the blogging community uses the same page format, which is supposed to allow bloggers to "skim the blog quickly for useful information" [2]. This is assuming, of course, that all blogs contain useful information.*
*I assure you, they do not.
THE RULES
I have skimmed many blogs, amassing knowledge of these so-called guidelines in an attempt to follow exactly none of them. I'm about nine years late to the blogging party, and, in the spirit of redundancy, I've decided to write my first blog.. about blogging.
"Wait, a minute!" you say. "This sounds like it might be against The Rules. You can't blog about blogging."
I can't? Hmm. That's funny, because it seems that I'm doing it anyway. Maybe that's the appeal of the blog... you get the feel of publication without having to follow any of those boring rules.
You know, The Rules. Like the Rule that says you're not allowed to use sentence fragments. The Rule that says you're not allowed to end a sentence with a preposition. The Rule that says you're not allowed to type too loudly when you're roommate is trying to sleep at 4 in the morning.
I just made up that last Rule. I could only come up with two, and I just thought that, for the sake of rhythm, there should be one more. But that sounds too much like a Rule to me, and this is a blog. And I don't even have a roommate. So now I've confused myself, which definitely isn't allowed. Or wouldn't be allowed, if there were rules, which there aren't.
Ok.
Now that I've established that there are no rules when it comes to blogging, I'm going to do an incredibly stupid thing and give you some rules anyway.
I'm going to call them
RULES FOR A SUCCESSFUL BLOGGING EXPERIENCE
Rule number one: You don't have to follow these rules. I just told you, remember? Blogs don't have rules. However, if you want to have a SUCCESSFUL blog, you should probably follow my rules. I'm almost positive I know what I'm talking about. And right now I have exactly zero followers. This is not helping my point. Moving on..
Rule number two: Write about whatever everyone else writes about. DON'T blog about something new; you could say something wrong, and then you'd look like a real idiot.
Rule number three: Write extremely opinionated things so that your readers can leave nasty, anonymous comments about how ignorant you are at the bottom of the page.
Rule number four: When leaving comments, be sure to a make a lot of spelling errors and use a lot of annoying internet slang (OMG U made me LOL!). Under no circumstances should this comment be remotely relevant to anything discussed in the blog itself-- the goal is to make the reader think twice about ever having kids for fear of the slight possibility that they might turn out to be something resembling a 'you'. Gross.
Rule number five: When you end your blog, do something really funny, like leaving the last sentence unfinished. That would be hilarious! People will think that you were stabbed from behind, rendering you unable to finish your blogging. It's original, it's witty, and no one will ever wonder how you were able to click on the "PUBLISH POST" button before your head hit the keyboard.
Rule number six: Feel free to lie if it adds to the success of your blog. Who's going to know? A junior at Loyola Marymount University said that his blog, created with a group of friends, has lead to numerous job offers, and that blogs are "kind of replacing resumes as far as indicators of talent and past experiences"[3]. Since blogging has no rules, it wouldn't technically be your fault if a potential employer misinterpreted the integrity of the information on your 'resume-blog'.
Rule number seven: Make good use of sarcasm-- it's way more entertaining than anything else. And it's easy to spot, so don't worry about saying things that are wrong, politically incorrect, potentially harmful, or hilarious. For example:
"Britney Spears is a great mom"[4] or
"Zac Efron isn't tan enough"[5] or
"Feel free to lie if it adds to the success of your blog"[6].
[1] Leight, Joanne. "Lifting the Fog on Instructional Blogs." JOPERD- The Journal of Physical Education, Recreation and Dance 79.2 (Feb 2008): 52(4).
[2] Leight
[3] Young, Jeffrey R. "The Extracurricular Charm of Blogging." The Chronicle of Higher Education 54.35 (May 9, 2009): pages NA.
[4] TheSuperficial.com
[5] Zac Efron Please Stop Tanning
[6] ...do I really need to cite my own blog?
After reading a few very important and official-looking articles about blogging, I've had the exciting revelation that blogging ("web-logging'') doesn't have any official rules. It's been around since 1999 [1], and it seems that no one has laid any prescriptivist rules about things like grammar usage and essay structure. Look at the beginning of this paragraph. I didn't indent, and no one even cares! Actually, I'm almost positive someone does. But... I don't. And this is MY blog, mmkay.
I've found that there are however, some common guidelines that people tend to follow. For example, it seems like the bulk of the blogging community uses the same page format, which is supposed to allow bloggers to "skim the blog quickly for useful information" [2]. This is assuming, of course, that all blogs contain useful information.*
*I assure you, they do not.
THE RULES
I have skimmed many blogs, amassing knowledge of these so-called guidelines in an attempt to follow exactly none of them. I'm about nine years late to the blogging party, and, in the spirit of redundancy, I've decided to write my first blog.. about blogging.
"Wait, a minute!" you say. "This sounds like it might be against The Rules. You can't blog about blogging."
I can't? Hmm. That's funny, because it seems that I'm doing it anyway. Maybe that's the appeal of the blog... you get the feel of publication without having to follow any of those boring rules.
You know, The Rules. Like the Rule that says you're not allowed to use sentence fragments. The Rule that says you're not allowed to end a sentence with a preposition. The Rule that says you're not allowed to type too loudly when you're roommate is trying to sleep at 4 in the morning.
I just made up that last Rule. I could only come up with two, and I just thought that, for the sake of rhythm, there should be one more. But that sounds too much like a Rule to me, and this is a blog. And I don't even have a roommate. So now I've confused myself, which definitely isn't allowed. Or wouldn't be allowed, if there were rules, which there aren't.
Ok.
Now that I've established that there are no rules when it comes to blogging, I'm going to do an incredibly stupid thing and give you some rules anyway.
I'm going to call them
RULES FOR A SUCCESSFUL BLOGGING EXPERIENCE
Rule number one: You don't have to follow these rules. I just told you, remember? Blogs don't have rules. However, if you want to have a SUCCESSFUL blog, you should probably follow my rules. I'm almost positive I know what I'm talking about. And right now I have exactly zero followers. This is not helping my point. Moving on..
Rule number two: Write about whatever everyone else writes about. DON'T blog about something new; you could say something wrong, and then you'd look like a real idiot.
Rule number three: Write extremely opinionated things so that your readers can leave nasty, anonymous comments about how ignorant you are at the bottom of the page.
Rule number four: When leaving comments, be sure to a make a lot of spelling errors and use a lot of annoying internet slang (OMG U made me LOL!). Under no circumstances should this comment be remotely relevant to anything discussed in the blog itself-- the goal is to make the reader think twice about ever having kids for fear of the slight possibility that they might turn out to be something resembling a 'you'. Gross.
Rule number five: When you end your blog, do something really funny, like leaving the last sentence unfinished. That would be hilarious! People will think that you were stabbed from behind, rendering you unable to finish your blogging. It's original, it's witty, and no one will ever wonder how you were able to click on the "PUBLISH POST" button before your head hit the keyboard.
Rule number six: Feel free to lie if it adds to the success of your blog. Who's going to know? A junior at Loyola Marymount University said that his blog, created with a group of friends, has lead to numerous job offers, and that blogs are "kind of replacing resumes as far as indicators of talent and past experiences"[3]. Since blogging has no rules, it wouldn't technically be your fault if a potential employer misinterpreted the integrity of the information on your 'resume-blog'.
Rule number seven: Make good use of sarcasm-- it's way more entertaining than anything else. And it's easy to spot, so don't worry about saying things that are wrong, politically incorrect, potentially harmful, or hilarious. For example:
"Britney Spears is a great mom"[4] or
"Zac Efron isn't tan enough"[5] or
"Feel free to lie if it adds to the success of your blog"[6].
[1] Leight, Joanne. "Lifting the Fog on Instructional Blogs." JOPERD- The Journal of Physical Education, Recreation and Dance 79.2 (Feb 2008): 52(4).
[2] Leight
[3] Young, Jeffrey R. "The Extracurricular Charm of Blogging." The Chronicle of Higher Education 54.35 (May 9, 2009): pages NA.
[4] TheSuperficial.com
[5] Zac Efron Please Stop Tanning
[6] ...do I really need to cite my own blog?
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