Let's all go to Karly World! It's like Pizza World, only more awesome. but with less pizza. i mean there is pizza. just less.

Sometimes this is how my process of writing a blog entry from the "Third person/Weird" POV goes:

1. Go to take a picture of yourself on photobooth for the blog because everyone likes pictures because pictures are not words and are therefore awesome.

2. Get distracted by the fact that [of fucking course] your computer camera is not working.

Think: God damnit computer camera. God damnit, Murphy's Law. God damnit, ME, for thinking that everything could just work exactly like its supposed to. for once. And anyways why do people have this impression that everything is just supposed to work all the time? i constantly find myself in a battle with things that just refuse to do what they are supposed to do.

ME: hey camera cord, i can't remember where i put you. and by put, i mean threw you unceremoniously into the corner of whatever room i happened to be in at the time said throwing occurred. help me out here?
CAMERA CORD: oh hey. I know it's five hours later, but i hope its cool that I was just chillin in some empty box of Cheez-its that you didnt think to look in because you thought it would be socially acceptable/hygienic/not disgusting to just keep it on the floor in your room for a couple of months before putting it in, i dont know, say, THE TRASH where it belongs.
Also I'm tangled beyond repair.
Also the USB port isn't recognizing my presence.
Also, maybe, you should try turning on the camera first.
Also, you're an idiot.
ME: God damnit.

ME: hey phone battery, can you stay charged for like more than 5 hours please? I'm trying not to get stranded in Ypsilanti at 3 in the morning when im drunk, its freezing rain, and i have to work in 4 hours.
BATTERY: no way dewd, better things to do. like die. die always. all the time. *dies*
ME: God damnit.

ME: hey fully charged ipod, could you please play Ke$ha's "Blow" for me?
iPOD: back door cracked we dont need a keyyyy
ME: la la la la la, jog jog jog
iPOD: it's time to kill the lights and shut the dj downnnnnn
ME: jog jog jog, jog faster, and faster
iPOD: This place about to... *dies*
ME: GOD DAMNIT.


2. Forget that you are even writing a blog post. Sit there and stare at the Facebook homepage like you are waiting for it to tell you what to do. [It never does. Because it's facebook, and not say a real person, or even REAL LIFE.]

3. Definitely do not download Taylor Swift's entire discography and subject your parents to it while you are "cooking" and blogging. Do not let them think you are stupid enough to think that real love exists. You are way too awesome for that. And too awesome for Taylor Swift. And that's why you didnt download it today. or ever. but definitely not today.

4. Try opening and closing photobooth to see if the computer will somehow magically register the camera this time.

5. GUESS IF IT DID. JUST GUESS.

6. GUESS, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

7. OF COURSE IT DIDN'T.

8. Without pictures, there's no more point in writing a blog but you do it anyway because you are self obsessed and you didnt even go for a run today and you need to feel like you've done something with your sad, pathetic, perpetually unphotographed life.

9. Don't even attempt to explain what the hell Pizza World is, or why you put it in the post title and then just acted like it was normal and made total sense when really it's confusing and probably no one even read the rest of your blog because they were so pissed off about it. But you're probably thinking that it's better than Karly World. Because this is Karly World. OMG don't you hate it? Isn't it The Worst? You can stay or go, "but you were everything to me I was begging you please don't goooooo"

10. Don't end your blog with Taylor swift quotes. Remember to stir the cheese dip you are cooking. Stall ending your blog at all costs because then you have to get up off the couch and make something of your life. Feel really really anxious about how hard this is going to be.

11. Wonder if the last 3 sentences all should have been separate numbered entities.

12. Care for an entire three seconds and then move on to thinking about more important things.

13. Notice that you typed "3" once and then another time actually typed out "three" and be annoyed by your own inconsistencies.

14. Actually get up off the couch because you've been doing a whole lot of typing and not a whole lot of cheese dip-stirring.

[EDIT]

Crap. i used the number "2" twice. Whatever. editing is for weirdos. and editors.