This post is digusting and I don't even want to publish it.

When I was at work one day, I told Friend Frances that the bubbles in the steamed milk freak me out. Seriously. I can't handle looking at them. I have to destroy them with a spoon or dump the contents down the drain immediately. I don't know what my problem is. It's just a bunch of little holes, right?

I was trying to figure out what they reminded me of. And then it came to me.

I remember that once, in grade school, I saw a video of a toad that lives underwater and carries its babies on its back. Oh I'm sorry. Did I say on? Yeah no that's not correct. Because that would actually make sense. This toad carries its babies IN it's back. IN. In tiny, disgusting little pockets that for some reason make me want to kill myself. I've even had multiple dreams about my skin forming similar little pockets from which tiny round objects emerge.. and it's by far the worst dream I've ever had. So I try not to think about this a lot.

But here's the thing about me: I hate myself. So instead of doing... anything else... I googled a picture of the damn thing.




Disgusting, right? Yeah.

Then I found this:




AND THEN




WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON I don't need this! That shit makes my skin crawl. I'm never sleeping again.

Apparently this "being afraid of small holes thing" is a "thing" though. My first thought upon seeing that last image was that it was strange that I'm not alone in this fight. I found out that "trypophobia" is when you have a fear of small holes, possibly with things inside them.

Well guess the fuck what. I fucking have trypophobia and it's not awesome. I've totally lost my god damn cool.


Ugh. I have to go take a shower. Again.

PS everything is ruined.