DEAR HUNGRY HOWIES PIZZA

I was going to order pizza from you. But guess what? Now I'm not. Now I'm going to starve. And it's because of how TERRIBLE your website is. DO YOU KNOW HOW TERRIBLE YOUR WEBSITE IS? God. It's so terrible. The worst, in fact. It doesn't work. That's how terrible it is. You are terrible. Your pizza is terrible. EVERYTHING IS RUINED AND TERRIBLE AND GODD I REALLY WANT PIZZA RIGHT NOW. Oh, what, you want me to call? And, what, talk to someone? On the TELEPHONE? Do you have any idea how incapable I am of communicating with people on the phone? Because, let me tell you, this is how THAT conversation would go:

HH: Thank you for calling Hungry Howies Pizza, what can I get for you."
Karly: Uh, yeah, hi, uh.... do you have... food... there? Because... I WANT PIZZA. I DONT EVEN WANT TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT I WANT OR WASTE TIME GIVING YOU MY CREDIT CARD NUMBER JUST SEND ME SOME AWESOME FOOD AND ILL PAY YOU IN PENNIES AND THOUSANDS OF iPOD CORDS I NEVER USE.
HH: ...no.


FAIL.

NOT #WINNING.

LOSING.

STARVING.

DEATH.

DYING.


That is what's happening here. And it's your fault. I hate you.


Love, Karly.